TAKEAWAYS
Clare was a high-performing project manager at a marketing firm. Known for being helpful and always saying “yes”, she often found herself working late, picking up extra tasks and answering emails on weekends. Over time, Clare felt drained and irritable. Her work-life balance had disappeared and so had her enthusiasm.
One Monday morning, after yet another weekend lost to last-minute revisions from a colleague, Clare had had enough. She decided it was time for change. What she needed was not more motivation but better boundaries – to become a “leader with limits”.
More and more participants in my leadership and communication programmes are asking how to take charge of their own boundaries. Drawing on workplace psychology and years of working with professionals across industries, I’ve identified four key principles, namely, set your objectives, clarify your priorities, practise saying “no” appropriately, and respect others’ boundaries.
Effective boundary-setting begins with self-awareness. Without clarity on what matters most, it’s difficult to draw meaningful lines for ourselves.
Professionals can benefit from conducting a “boundary audit” by asking:
Then, spell out your non-negotiables (hard boundaries) and flexible areas (soft boundaries).
For instance, hard boundaries might include not answering emails after 6pm, or not accepting tasks unrelated to one’s role. They could also include not accepting a new project without stopping another of similar size.
Soft boundaries could include assisting with urgent tasks occasionally, provided there is time and alignment.
Context matters. Sometimes, diverse situations will have different boundaries by necessity. It is about setting and understanding expectations. For example, a rapidly expanding startup is a very different situation compared to an established organisation. You have to do your homework on likely expectations and norms, and make conscious decisions about how context will affect your boundary-setting.
Understanding others’ boundaries is equally important. Leaders and colleagues alike benefit when priorities and limits are shared openly.
Boundaries cannot function without clear communication. Expecting colleagues or loved ones to intuit your needs leads to misunderstanding.
Instead, articulate your boundaries:
For example, I knew a person who went into a new team lead role, where she told her colleagues during their first meeting, “I block out 8 to 10am for focused work. After that, I’m fully available for check-ins and collaboration. If something urgent comes up, just flag it clearly.” This small act of proactive communication helped set expectations, reduced interruptions, and encouraged others to define their own work rhythms too.
Communication should be a regular part of the work rhythm. Transparency and constructive conversation reduce conflict and support alignment.
“No” is a complete sentence, and a necessary one. As Steve Jobs once said, “Focusing is about saying no.” Many professionals find themselves overcommitted not because of workload but because of the inability to say no.
Declining with grace takes practice:
One possible way to push back, especially when a manager presents an unrealistic demand, is to redirect the conversation towards prioritisation. For example, “I see this is a top priority and I can take it on. Which of my current tasks would you suggest I pause or drop to make room for this?”
This kind of response doesn’t reject the request outright, but it subtly prompts the leader to reconsider his/her expectations. It shifts the onus back to him/her and indirectly reinforces your boundaries without conflict.
Each time you say no to a misaligned ask, you say yes to focus, quality and balance.
Boundary-setting is mutual. By respecting others’ limits, you reinforce a culture where boundaries are encouraged and appreciated.
Demonstrate this by:
Leaders, especially, set the tone. Role-modelling sustainable work habits signals to teams that protecting well-being is more than just acceptable – it’s expected.
Boundary success doesn’t come from principles alone – it requires consistent, intentional habits that support your ability to uphold them, especially under pressure. Here are some expanded strategies to reinforce your boundary-setting practice:
Reassess regularly
As roles, responsibilities or personal circumstances change, boundaries may need to shift too. Set aside time monthly or quarterly to reflect upon what is and isn’t working, and where adjustments are needed.
Take time off
Prioritise rest and “me” time as non-negotiable. Micro-breaks during the day, digital-detox weekends, and scheduled vacations help you reset and return with greater focus and resilience.
Delegate thoughtfully
Don’t think of delegation as dropping work. It’s really about aligning tasks with the right skills. Empower team members by trusting them with responsibilities that fit their strengths, freeing yourself to concentrate on what matters most. This seeks the highest “return” on your time as well as those who work for you.
Build strong relationships
Trust and psychological safety make conversations about boundaries smoother. Invest time in relationships by listening actively, showing appreciation and honouring others’ limits as much as your own.
Plan for boundary breaches
Not all boundaries will be respected immediately. Prepare respectful responses in advance. For example, “I understand this is urgent, but I’m currently focused on (priority task). Let’s schedule a time to revisit.”
Use visual or verbal reminders
Subtle signals, like a “focus time” block on your calendar or a “do not disturb” indicator, can reinforce your limits without needing to restate them constantly.
Practise self-compassion
You won’t get it perfect every time. Boundary-setting is a skill, not a one-time fix. Forgive yourself when you slip up, and recommit without guilt.
Anchor boundaries in purpose
Remind yourself why you set each boundary. Linking boundaries to bigger goals (like health, focus or relationships) helps you stay committed when it’s tempting to cave.
Celebrate when boundaries work
Recognise and affirm your progress. When you successfully uphold a boundary, take note. Reflecting on these wins strengthens your confidence and clarity moving forward.
The path to better boundaries begins with a decision – to prioritise what matters, to speak up clearly, and to lead by example. Like Clare, anyone can make that choice. As the old adage goes, “Good fences make good neighbours.” Wonderful gardens can grow on either side of the fence.
Ian C. Woodward is Emeritus Professor of Management Practice in Organisational Behaviour, INSEAD.
This article is republished courtesy of INSEAD Knowledge, the portal to the latest business insights and views of The Business School for the World. Copyright INSEAD 2026.
